So Blood Diamond was just released in Lusaka on Friday. I don't know if everyone has seen it already but the movie was incredible; and not just because Di Caprio's South African accent was immaculate. When the film was over I got up and noticed I'd been sweating. The whole thing was so intense, from the bloodshed to the horror of child soldiers I was really impressed by director Edward Zwick's ability to make a blockbuster movie that was so strikingly vivid and entertaining, yet whose lessons in realism might be powerful enough to affect change in the consciousness of America. Maybe I'm being too idealistic, after all, I am volunteer in Zambia, but I found the intesity of the film to be strangely inspiring. The conflict wasn't glorified, and the only triumph was Djimon Hounsou's reconciliation with his family and his subsequent speech to shed light on the truths of Sierra Leone. While I really can't say I'm able to identity with anything that happened in the movie, there were some moments in the dialogue between Di Caprio and Jennifer Connelly which struck a chord. There is fatalistic pessimism that creeps into my own thoughts, whispering that nothing volunteers do here is actually helping the situation, whether it's public health, human rights or child protection. It makes me sick to think that in four months I can drop everything and go back to plush America and there will still be 200,000 child soldiers in Africa and one in six Zambians infected with HIV. A white person in Africa is more often than not there for one of two reasons, either to make a buck or volunteer; and either way, if things get bad, they can always leave. I guess I'm proud to fall in the second category. Yet as my time here wanes I have some serious thinking to do about how to recalibrate so that this year does not go swiftly in the night to become a fond memory rather than a call to action.